Friday, November 23, 2007

In preparation of a test to resolve blood pressure issues, I'm required to eat salt, a LOT of salt, for three days. Salt on my potatoes, salt on my eggs, salt on my popcorn, salt in my water. SALT SALT SALT. After 36 hours of this diet I am averse to salt.

My mouth is puckered and dry and I haven't peed in a while.

In other non-TMI news, my father-in-law didn't like the butternut squash soup. I could tell when he ate two bites and got up from the table to "carve the turkey." For the record, that GD soup was not only a gorgeous yellowy-orange served simply in a white bowl with sugar cinnamon crouton (homemade) but it tasted like butternut friggin' squash only more concentrated with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg, to put it another way, it was Autumn in a friggin' Ikea bowl.

Neither did he eat the homemade cranberry and orange relish. Why? Why? Why I ask, do I slave in the kitchen to impress guests who would rather eat out of their laps watching the Packers game? Oh well, I'll do it again next year and the year after that.

So, it is unusual that we actually spent Thanksgiving with the 'rents. When I asked why they didn't treck to Wisconsin they told me that their gay nephew was bringing his boyfriend and his parents were just having immediate family to dinner. I cracked up. I had NO idea that the 'rents had a gay nephew so I stirred the pot by saying:

"I LOVE gay people"

and when they qualified that this nephew was extra effeminate I said:

I LOVE "femmy" gays"

Ha I love it!

The 'rents left and Rhett and I fell into bed to sleep off the starch that repeated throughout the mainly beige Holiday meal. We then headed to the theatre where we had a show. I had to welcome the audience and do the sound effects. The show is a comedy with two actors playing all the inhabitants of a fake town in Texas, and it's actually a brilliant satire made even more funny with the men wearing dresses to portray female characters. Yep, nothing says Thanksgiving like a drag show about Christmas!

And that was Thanksgiving in the O'Hara household.



Blogger Margeaux Kramer said...

What was the name of the play? Was it "A Tuna Christmas?" If yes, I saw that a few years ago at the Warner Theater and hated it. I'm sorry to say. It was supposed to be so funny and I did not like it one bit. I felt let down and disappointed after seeing it. In fact, I'm not sure we even stayed 'til the end. Does this make me a bad person?

10:24 PM  
Blogger Scarlett said...

No, not a bad person. Perhaps the show resonates more fully for me now that I live in the Bible Belt of the South. Also, the way these guys perform it, it's pretty funny. But, they're also my friends, so I'm biased.

12:45 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

I thought of your salt intake many times this weekend and had a running list in my head of foods you should gravitate to but apparently the ESP wasn't working and I probably should have TOLD you what the list was instead of shouting things like "OLIVES!" "BACON!" "POPCORN!" at inopportune times like some sort of Paula Dean inspired Tourette's.

Now hopefully the test is over and you can drink you some water and fit back into your rings.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Scarlett said...

It's over. Yay!

5:13 PM  

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