Tuesday, January 02, 2007

We are finally back in good ol' DC/VA and I am so grateful to finally be back in my apartment, with my bed, my cat and absolutely nobody else but my fiance. We had a good time in ND but by the end I was just ready to go. No matter whose family we are with, 8 days is just too many. I was counting the hours today until we got to leave for the airport and of course, our flight was delayed, which postponed our ETA from the house. However, the time did come and off we went. Everyone piled out of the F-150 Ford pick-up truck for hugs all around. I said good-bye to ME's sister, gave her a hug and said "see ya in May." At this point I turned to ME's dad and quite suddenly reality hit me - I wouldn't be seeing him in May. After 8 days in ND, hours of frustration and just being ready to leave, I broke down in tears. See, as I mentioned before, ME's dad won't be there in May because he leaves in 24 days for training and then in about 4 months from now he'll leave for Iraq for a year. As moody and sarcastic as he can be, he's really just a big teddy bear, and one I've grown quite fond of - especially considering my less than stellar relationship with my own father. I gave his dad a huge hug as the tears rolled down my face and refused to let go. He told me to take care of his son. I cried harder. I eventually let go and turned to his mom, who had tears in her eyes and I quickly forgot being pissed off about fake flowers. I gave her a hug and told her to take care of him for the next three weeks.

Truthfully I wasn't prepared for such an emotional good-bye because I wasn't thinking about it. I had forgotten. In the midst of all the fun and frustration, I had forgotten about the family meeting we had on Christmas day where we discussed what exactly was happening, what he would be doing and what we should and shouldn't do god forbid something happen to him. I feel as though I have behaved like a selfish, petulant child and that while I was getting upset about feeling as though nobody cared about our upcoming wedding, I lost focus of what really mattered - family. I know that the family, and especially CDE (ME's dad) doesn't want anybody to alter their plans because of him, so, I continued on as normal, pushing thoughts of the deployment from my mind because I didn't want to cry for 8 days. I focused on wedding plans because it occupies my time and is a happy occasion, one I am looking forward to. We have joked about taking a picture of CDE from ME's other sister's wedding and having a life size cardboard cut out made to include in the wedding pictures. It breaks my heart that he won't be there to see his only son get married, to share a dance with me and to be able to celebrate with us. However, I am grateful that his length of deployment is only one year and god willing he'll be home with us next May - just in time to celebrate our 1 year anniversary.

On that note, I am rambling, tired and emotional, so I shall end this and go to sleep. I hope you all had a fantastic new year's eve and that your 2007 is off to a fabulous start!

LYLAS
Margeaux

(sorry, I couldn't help myself)

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