I can't not tell you how happy I am to be back.

So Petra and I left for good ole Jersey on Wed morning. First stop, McD's to get some delicious sweet tea and a not so yummy egg McMuffin. Roughly four hours later, we are in the Garden State. We called my Dad on the way in and told him to meet us for lunch.
Surprise #1: My dad tells us that he has decided that he wants to lose weight and look 10 years younger. If that means a little nip/tuck here or there, than that's what he will do. This is a strange conversation to have with your dad. Especially when he says things like "If I go out with you girls (Petra and I), I want people to say 'Who is your new friend?' "
I stayed in on the biggest party night of the year. Lame, I know.
Surprise #2: Time for bed. Just to preface this, for the last I don't know 20 yrs of their marriage it's safe to say my parents really didn't get along. But I think the whole "stay together for the kids" theory applied to their marriage. It should also be noted that my parent's house is tiny. Three bedrooms- my parent's, my brother's, and a guest. So Petra and I get to share a room. Now, for the disturbing surprise. I'm about to fall asleep and than I hear it. Yes- a slurping sucking face noise. Petra has also heard it.
That's right kids, my parents were making out. So so so so gross. We both made so comments about how we should sleep in the car, and were laughing while be grossed out. I think my parents got the hint because it all stopped. I don't think I will ever be the same.


Turkey Day was ok...I think it's the same in almost everyone's house. Some relatives are annoying as all hell, and so they drive you to drink. Somehow my Dad thought it should be a "dry" Thanksgiving. Yeah that didn't happen, sorry Pops! No real drama to report though.

Black Friday and I did no shopping. I think this is even worse than not going out Wed. night. And not that I really did mind, but it was just Petra and I. My parents and brother were all out running errands or doing whatever they did. To make matters worse, my Dad took my car because something was wrong with it. So finally around 5 when everyone was home again, we decided to go out to eat. I had one beer. This was not enough for what was about to happen later.
Surprise #3: We get back home and are just hanging out. My parents decide to take a trip down memory lane. Normally, this is ok..."When I was in high school, my friends and I blah blah blah". This trip however, was Rated R. I mean they were talking about dating, hooking up, etc. Not cool. Not cool at all. I will spare you the details. Believe me you should thank me.

Saturday couldn't have come soon enough for me. We packed up, said our goodbyes, and got the hell out of there.

It's not that I don't love my family, because I do. But four days is all I can take I think.
And it's great my parents are finally getting along, even thought they have the most messed up relationship of all time, but is it too much to ask that they just chill with the PDAs?

I think when I go home for Christmas I will consume more alcohol.

Hoping everyone had a good Thanksgiving :-)

Clem