Friday, November 10, 2006

SO having one full time job and up to 3 other sets people who think soley to do work for them full time as well my positions as Head Scientist and Chair of Clem's Love Life Committee leave me little time for anything interesting to happen.

Or, conversely, when I'm pouting/boycotting/sitting-around-slovenly to honor our Veterans on this sunnny 70 degree day that I do not get off nothing interesting happens as well so I will take this time to tell you about other things that I've been storing up for just such an occasion.

1) Before I forget this I think we should have Mr. Belding's Baby Momma take a variety of quizzes (pirate name, porn star name, wu-tang clan name etc...) To aid us in her nom de pluming

2) Crazy hacking lady at work. So when I first started I overheard peeps in my department talking about this woman's coughing and how they had talked to her boss and were going to HR to basically have this woman taken out to pasture and shot. (We have a small pasture out front of our building in case such a locale should be needed and also to play bocce and flag football on during lunch). Sooo I was like "I never hear crazy hacking lady" and the looked at me shocked. And so it goes with all things that eventually drive you insane you are told about it then notice it every damn time it happens. So apparently crazy hacking lady's story is that she isn't sick and gets annoyed when ask her if she's ok but is "allergic" to something in the office that makes her about 4-8 times a day go through this process:
step 1: light although flemmy coughing is heard for about 4 coughs
step 2: pause
step 3: coughing because flemmier and louder until it crescendos into a dead rattle and I get nauseous and put on my headphones
step 4: time passes
step 5: a SONG AND A HALF LATER I see the old crone walk by my desk to get some water-- hey CRONE! Thanks for waiting about 4 minutes before excusing ourselves! We all love the vomit taste in the back of our mouths
step 6: time passes
step 7: while walking back the coughing begins again

Woo-hoo that brought me to 3:30 quittin time no matter how long these crazy folk want to stay!


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