An Open Letter to Rhett

Dear Rhett,

We need to talk. For the safety of the humans and animals residing in our home I'm gonna need you to adhere to the following rules:

Do not, under any circumstances, place a pint glass of water on the post which punctuates the bottom of our staircase. As you will recall from last night, this precarious placement resulted in the shattering of said glass when I came barreling down the darkened staircase.

Also, please remember to turn off the space heater, required in our very cold kitchen to prevent frost bite and other winter related maladies, upon leaving the house.

Oh, and don't forget that the back door sticks, so please be kind and double check that it is both shut all the way and locked.

This next one is more of a request than a rule...I have been without a working sink in my upstairs bathroom for two weeks or longer. I understand that you shut the water off to retrieve my contact case lid currently blocking the drain (which could have been prevented with the simple installment of a drain cover, but that is neither here nor there). Could you please finish this task soon, so that I may return to brushing my teeth in the same room where I shower?

Sincerely,
Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler