Traffic Court

So I am not quite the rebel that I've been known to consider myself in my head at times. But what I will say, like anything, practice makes perfect. Not that I want to become totally nonchalant about appearing in court, but maybe just to the point where I don't feel like I'm about ready to throw up. But there in lies the problem. If practice makes perfect, I might be doing time before I get good at it.

So picture it. Tuesday morning. About 100 people in this court room. The judge is already pissed off because apparently a good majority of the population does not know their own name. He kept calling up people and someone else would come. So then he gets to my name, which I do know. And it's a good thing I do know all of my names since he called me Diaxx Stoxxxxxx Coxxx Lixxxxx. Thank you DMV for effing up my drivers license. So in my head I keep saying, remember to call him Your Honor. Someone else just said yes sir and I've watched enough Law and Order to know that can ruin a Judge's day. So, I had to plead guilty since I (and by I, I mean Snuffuluficas) parked in a handicap spot. Yeah, yeah I hear ya, horrible, but we really didn't see the sign. So then I asked for it to be dropped to the minimum of $100 in the most shaky, mousy voice you've ever heard. And he said asked if I'd ever gotten a ticket for this before to which I answer, No Sir. DOH. So now I am red, sweating and about to puke on him, and he tapped his gravel and reduced it. Pshew. But then they have these things called court costs, which I am unaware of since I've never been to court before. What a rip dude. Half again as much. So $156 later, I am one step closer to becoming the rebel I sometimes portray myself as in my head. Any future court cases, I will be happy to co-defend on. Thank you.