Mrs. Darcy, I have given much thought to costume ideas for you. Here is what I came up with during last night's "Wednesday is as good a day as any to get drunk when your unemployed" booze fest. Anyone who says alcohol increases creativity is lying.

Kitchen inspirations:

Elsie theCow (warning: cow head causes visual restriction, increased chance of drunk frat boys in Georgetown asking to "milk" you)

Aunt Jemima / Uncle Jemima
For authenticity, you and Mr. Darcy should ferment up some mash liquor, just don't go blind!

Little Debbie / Chef Boyarde
S & W went as this one year and they were cute.

Cereal Killer
Unorginial, but funny nonetheless. You tie a box of cereal around your neck and carry a plastic knife. Rhett likes to keep this one in his arsenal for costumes requiring little effort. More on Rhett later.

Movie inspirations:

Deb from Napolean Dynamite
Probably not the most timely of ideas, but...

Marie Antoinette
Just try to get on the Metro wearing a 3 foot powdered wig

Julia Sullivan / Robbie Hart from The Wedding Singer
Alternate costume idea for Mr. Darcy - the Boy George wannabe as played by Alexis Arquette. His version of "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" has inspired many karaoke performances."Give me time....toooo realize my crimes....Let me love and steal....I have danced inside your eyes...How can I be reeeeaaaalll."

Please allow me to digress for a moment. People, don't mock the under-rated genius that is Boy George while he picks up trash in NYC during his community service. Yes, he did call the cops after a male escort ripped him off and yes, the cops discovered copious amounts of cocaine during their house call. But remember genius, such as his, often comes with a price and the price he pays is forgetfulness. You'd be too if you spent much of the 80's doing heroin and cocaine off of toliet seats. Oh, wait that's Kate Moss, sorry. The fact that he still lives to tell his story in the broadway autobiographical Taboo is a testament to his resiliance.

Lovin would be easy if your colors were like my dreams...red, gold and green....red, gold and green...

Shut up, that's good stuff!

That's it...I'm creatively tapped. I didn't say they were good costume ideas, but hopefully they will serve as a springboard for better ones.

As for my own costume, I'm pulling out the old Care Bear costume for this Saturday's costume party. Pictures will not be posted, as the last time I dressed as Cheer Bear I was hosting at a micro-brewery. I was mistaken for a pink pig by almost every drunk 40-something male. The kitchen staff kept calling me a "furrie." At the time I was blissfully ignorant of the negative connotation that was implied. That was probably my fault for choosing a wholesome costume to wear to a bar when all the other women were slutty devils, or french maids.

Rhett on the other hand has only decided on a costume concept. Execution of this concept has not started and I do not anticipate it begining until around 6:00 p.m. on Saturday night. He will be dressing as a conspiracy theorist. This is a repeat of last year's costume idea, which was not so much a costume as an extra tin foil hat made by his friend in the office on Halloween.

Keep Reaching for the Stars,
- Scarlett