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Warning: Harry Potter, Sex in the City, Six Feet Under, Sixth Sense, The Da Vinci Code, Twin Peaks & Dallas Spoilers

Do not continue reading this if I will be blamed for spoiling the ending of these story lines even though, I feel, that I should not be held responsible for spoilers after a certain amount of time. If you have not read, rented the dvd, or watched a show within 18 months of it's release, I will not take responsibility for inadvertantly ruining the ending during converstaion.

I have this friend, let's call him Mr. Belding. Mr. Belding and I were discussing the fact that I am compiling a reading list of all the books that I should have read, started to read, or maybe I've seen the BBC film adaptation but that doesn't really count, so now I'm gonna make up for the gaps in my literary repertoire. I had stumbled upon a list on McSweeney's that I thought was hilariously appropos. The list was called, The Endings of 10 famous novels you always meant to read but never got around to:

BY SALOM TESHALE

- - - -

She dies.

He falls out of love with her.

He dies.

He kills it and then he dies.

Everyone dies.

A fire destroys everything.

He wins.

They're rescued.

They find it.

Snape kills Dumbledore.

So, I shared this list with Mr. Belding thinking that he too would find the subtle humor. Only I had forgotten that Mr. Belding was still on book 4 of the Harry Potter series and Snape killed Dumbledore in book 6. Mind you book 4 was released in 2000, if your counting folks that's 6 years ago. How, in 6 years, has Mr. Belding not finished book 4, book 5 and book 6? We are talking about a man who is an educator of children? Nevermind the fact that the surprise ending of book six was released in July 2005, well over a year ago. You mean to tell me that Mr. Belding didn't hear the ending discussed in the halls of an elementary school? Perhaps because the children all read about it over the summer, he was able to avoid it, but really, I'm the first person to spoil it? The most beloved children's book series in the ENTIRE world....really, it is my fault that I assumed he had read it in a timely manner?

I entirely understand the frustration of having an ending ruined. I watched all the HBO series (Sex in the City, The Soprano's, and Six Feet Under ) on dvd an entire year after their seasons originally aired. Thanks to the Washington Post's entertainment section I accidently read that Nate died of an embulism, but had to wait a year to actually see the episodes. I was pissed, but really who could I blame? It's not easy avoiding spoilers in an office environment either. A co-worker let it slip about Miranda being knocked up & marrying Steve, that Carrie ended up with Big in Paris. It was my choice not to subscribe to HBO so I had to deal with spoilers.

My point is that after a certain amount of time these revelations are no longer spoilers, but become part of our common cultural experience. These movies, tv shows & books are watched and read by so many people, the characters, so integrated into our lives that their plotlines are discussed like we would discuss the happenings of mutual friends. After a while, I say 18 months, you gotta give a sista a break if she let's it slip that:

it was just a dream

he shot the mirror

he was dead all along

she is a direct decendent of Jesus

the father killed her


Now, speaking of endings could FOX please resolve the series Reunion? I'm dying to know who killed Sam.

-Scarlett