Friday, November 17, 2006

Damn you Marc Jacobs, damn you to hell!

I know, thems fighting words, but if only you realized what Marc Jacobs has done...he has romanticized a ground-creeping weed by creating a crisp, softly sueded fragrance with rich, woody undertones. I also understand Mr. Jacobs has taken to covering the exterior walls of his flagship store in this weed. The weed in question: ivy, the fragrance: Ivy Splash. Now you may be asking why I so vehemently slander this weed...well, it's because I've just spent the last 4 hours pulling that shit out of a corner of my front lawn. My hands are now stained with the tannin from my leather garden gloves and despite the protection my gloves provide, I still ended up with black dirt under my fingernails. Chances are the roots of this hardy foliage will produce more vines, but hear me now ivy or hear me later, I'm coming after you with all I got. And that's a lot, I now own the following garden accoutrements: one shovel, one trowel, one pair of gardening shears, one pair of hedge clippers and a bad attitude toward ground creeping weeds.

Mr. Jacobs if you're reading this, please know that I was only kidding. I don't really wish you banished to hell. If you could please send me the famous Marc leather tote in "sunset" I would be forever grateful. Also, I'm nearly out of your perfume. It is almost Christmas and I've been very good this year! By the way, if you see Jared Leto at your next fashion show, please let him know that I'm so over him. I've moved on from the guyliner look, since The Future Mrs. Darcy declared it to be passe and has labeled him a tool. My new celeb crushes are Jaime Dornan & Mathew MacFayden. Sorry, Jared! Take solice that you're in a band so you won't be single for long.

Hugs & Kisses,


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