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Mock me all you want my friends but I have been busy mourning the demise of one of the most timeless love affairs of our generation – Britney and K-Fed. I’ve been watching old episodes of Chaotic trying to figure out where those two crazy lovebirds went wrong. I've been having nightmares just thinking about who will get the kids and how long after the divorce is final we'll actually continue to hear about K-Fed. I’ve also been very busy with wedding preparations. You do know that TomKat is getting married this weekend right? So much that must be done – from reading about Tom arriving in Rome to reports of Katie passing out after taking dieting advice from Posh Spice. Ah, to be rich, young, pretty and dumb as an f-ing rock!

In real news, I am in so much pain. I leave for Mexico in 2 ½ weeks and in preparation for the sun and beautiful weather, I am going tanning. I’m sure you are shocked but this milky white, some might say ghostly pale, complexion does not tan easily and often turns 3 shades of red before turning into a tan. So, last night was my first time tanning, even though I have been telling myself for weeks that I needed to go. I thought 8 minutes would be ok. Not the maximum length of 15 minutes and not too short to be a total waste of time. Looking back on it, perhaps 5 minutes would have been fine. I now have a back, chest/stomach and outline from bikini bottoms that is as red as a stop sign. You have to understand – I haven’t worn a swimsuit in public for 3 years so my chest/stomach, back and butt area are as pale as a ghost – correction – were as pale as a ghost. I am hopeful that the redness will go down by Thursday so perhaps I can go tanning again. I realize that the logical thing to do would be to avoid the tanning bed, the sunburn and perhaps a bout of skin cancer, but if I don’t suffer now, I will surely pay the price once I get to Mexico. This makes perfect sense to me. However, I am also trying to convince myself that bras are optional and need not be worn to work since it is rather uncomfortable on my poor back and chest to wear one. Unfortunately, I think I’m S.O.L. and will have to just suck it up for the next few days.

Lastly, Clem, where is the flow chart? I emailed you back my comments and expect to see the chart materialize on this blog before the week is out. I realize I’ve been banned from your love life committee for giving advice not approved by the Chair of your committee but I think I speak for all of us when I say we are eager to see the chart so we can keep up with who the hell is who in your network of friends.

I hope that this entry will prevent me from further mocking for failure to post in a while. I’m sure that the impending arrival of my mother this weekend – for good I might add as she is moving here – and the joy of Thanksgiving with my family will lend itself to some mighty colorful postings in the coming days. Stay tuned – Christmas in ND is bound to provide even more colorful postings. You never know what those crazy folks will say or do!

(for the record – I did NOT actually watch any episodes of Chaotic)