Friday, December 01, 2006

Important Issue of the Day: Is Jude Law a skeev?

Remember when we all worked together and we debated who was the hotter Brit in Closer?

I for one had a really hard time deciding between Clive Owen, who was sexy in a bad, almost dirty sorta way and Jude Law, who was Clive's foil, a little softer and when he told Julia Roberts to "come here" at the photoshoot I almost lost my mind. Well, in light of the recent nanny scandal, the admission that he's broke and the decision to wear a creepy curly mullet-like hair style, I think Jude Law has sabotaged his chance at winning the debate.

What specifically causes famous men involved in a famous couple to behave in such a self-destructive manner, remember Hugh Grant and the prostitute? A proper answer to this question is beyond the scope of this blog. But perhaps we can speculate that it's a genetic flaw of British men or perhaps somehow related to England's lack of flouride. Or maybe Hugh and Jude's mommies weened them from the breast too soon and they've never been able to forgive and forget so now they project a veiled woman-hating hostility, which manifests into a need to spread their seed all over London or in Hugh's case, L.A.

Jude, seriously, go back to being the dreamy guy opposite Claire Danes in I Love You, I Love You Not, cut your hair and stop blabbing about how you ain't got no benjamins. Until you do so, I will have a difficult time accepting your role as a romantic lead in such films as Holiday. Even though, of course, I'll be seeing it just as soon as it opens!



Blogger snuffaluffacis said...

Oh Scarlett - why must you provoke me so???

"But perhaps we can speculate that it's a genetic flaw of British men or..."

7:32 PM  
Blogger Scarlett said...

Dude, your not British!

12:16 PM  

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