Monday, December 04, 2006

Wind It Up
An update of the life of The Future Mrs. Darcy as told in 3 Acts

Prologue:
A part of me died when I heard Gwen Stefani was now sampling Sound of Music for her next upcoming single since I dearly love the Sound of Music and especially the Lonely Goatherd which for some ungodly reason I can kind of sing since it doesn't make me cross between my high voice (all 4 notes of it) and my lower voice (word to all my alto bitches!) and it didn't like the Fiddler song she last did but while at poker last week Bosse said he had a song I think I'd like and when I heard the Lonely Goatherd I knew what it was and cringed but then almost immediately fell head over heels in love with it, then sat and pondered it, then heard it out Friday night, decided it must be mine on Sunday, and have played it roughly 50 times since then.

That was one sentence. Awesome. Wait something is wrong... Silence? Ahh Wind it up- it is your time to shine yet again.

Act 1.
Thanksgiving.

So Mr. Darcy and I went home for Thanksgiving a Tuesday night 4 score ago (or perhaps it just feels like that). Wednesday was Mr. Darcy's intro to our oft crazy wedding planner (my mom- but she is oft crazy in the same manner - AND I MEAN THE EXACT MANNER you will see - so it's not a bad crazy it's just a little startling when it is focused on you). So we had a busy day scheduled- starting out with the photographer who we hung out with at Starbucks and is super cool and more what I would consider PJ which is great. For those who didn't surround themselves foolishly with photo students in college- PJ is photo journalism. So he's less about staged photos and more about capturing the essence which is super-duper. Then away we got to St. Pius to meet with the priest. This is the priest that the receptionist at St. Thomas (my church) asked if we wanted when she reserved the Church b/c apparently a lot of people my age thought he was nice when he was still at our church and have been requesting him. So mom says how about Father W and I'm like - wow I remember him sure. (see previous priest story for more detail) so my mom and I both remember a sort of monk like (actual monks not detective tv show) brown hair, kind of round, little beard. Umm yeah. White hair, skinny Irish guy sticks his head out and is like "Hi I think you're my next appointment- nice to finally meet you". So my mom and I are remembering a completely different priest but all works out for the best b/c this guy is really nice too- even more so than Mystery Priest. No scary questions - thankfully - and he even helped us out I think b/c when he was asking for my address he stopped himself and was like - "umm why don't I just use your parents so I don't have to go through the DC Archdiocese" which I think was him being nice knowing my address would be the same as Mr. Darcy's. So priest went well- Mr. Darcy needs to sell our future children to the Catholic church but I told him he's fine with that so that's ok.

Wed. night - which as we know from previous posts - is the biggest party night of the year. I was supposed to go out with OJ and La Sicilian but OJ backed out so La Sicilian and I just went out together which is great b/c then we could go to our "let's see how fat everyone from high school got" bar without OJ's voicing her dissent with seeing people from high school. So we go and it's packed. This place is always friggin ridiculous. It's the size up the upstairs of Angry Inch and they have TWO BARTENDERS ON!!! EVERY YEAR-- 2 bartenders- TOTALLY SLAMMED. Ugh. So it's totally over fire code- packed packed packed. We see someone from La Sicilian's grade and make polite conversation for a second then WAIT 15 minutes to get a drink while being pushed and shoved and we're looking around... And looking around and not really seeing anyone else. And then I'm at the bar and I keep hearing "2 Sex on Beaches"..."Amaretto sour"... "Kamikaze" and then it hits me-- THEY'RE ALL YOUNGER. Our grades have been pushed out by damn youngins'!

We leave and go another bar then to a townie bar which was much more fun. In general early night- good times.

Thanksgiving was full of happiness in the form of mashed potatoes, popovers, stuffing, and wine. There was others but I could eat a meal of just those every night. There's a whole sub-story of Thanksgiving of my aunt (who's husband, my stepfather's brother, died early this summer) and how she's become REALLY religious but we'll save that for another post.

Friday.
Wow only Friday. I cannot tell a short story but you should all know that by now. Friday as everyone should know is DRESS DAY. Me in a private room with a strapless bustier kind of bra and a slip with my mom, sister, aunt D, other aunt D, La Sicilian, OJ and the dress lady. Thank you pilates friend who is getting married as well for the "shave everything" remind. Very nice place tried on lots of dresses. Don't like silver beading, some drop waists, overdone pulls and anything that looks ordinary. One front runner which everyone HATED on the hanger but loved on. This is still the front runner. But I felt we needed to go to other stores and ... Well... Other store sucked. People who didn't speak english, made us take our shoes off, big ole ugly dresses on racks (the first place she brought me stuff she thought would look good and I'd like and kept on going back as we learned more what I liked/didn't). Bad bad bad so after the bad places Mom took us all to Friday's for snacks and a drink. At this time OJ and La Sicilian makes plans for later. Wow... Knowing what's coming I need to pause. It won't seem big to you but I get nauseous just thinking back. Deep breath. OK. So we all go out to local bar/restaurant where I'm drinking at a slightly faster rate than the group (which isn't much since I'm on 3 and they're on 2 and 1 although I am having the pints) so I've made nice-nice with the bartender and get 3rd drink and half of another for free and they're like - let's go to other townie bar that Sicilian and I went to on wed. Now had I known we were planning a change of venue I wouldn't have been so quick about it at Bar #1. But we go and it's funtimes. La Sicilian runs into boy everyone has been trying to get her with since high school. I see 2 guys who were frosh when I was a senior and always hung out with me in the plays. From what I can recall I had 3 yuenglings and a shot called "electric lemonade" there and tried to have a meaningful conversation with OJ about why she keeps on breaking up with her off-on BFF. Now this is probably was some of you drink on a nightly basis (weekend night at least). And when I left I was drunk but not fall down or pass out or anything. Next morning the family keeps on mentioning "6 am when I got in" and I was like "umm I got in at 3" but I was coming from several sources. TURNS out I woke up at 6 knocked over my lamp next to my bed, my cell phone charger, my clock and ran to the bathroom to pee. I have absolutely no recollection of this but I'm glad at least that I wasn't puking in front of my mom.

Saturdayyyyy.
My head hurts to think about it. Mom and I went out looking for more dresses and basically I spent most of the day trying not to vomit, crying because I felt stupid for being hung over when I was supposed to be doing things, dizzy, and sleeping. I thought the sleeping would cure it- it always does so we went home at 2 and I slept until 4 when we had another appointment at the first place to try on front runner dress again to see if it still lived up to the hype. Got up felt better had a cracker or something and in the car we go... Everything's fine... Everything's fine... Everything's not fine... Get the bridal place and ready to die again. Waiting for the woman to help us... Sitting... Sitting... I secretly throw up in the bathroom [note this is a good 18 hours or so since drinking and the first time I'm puking this day]... Mom runs out to get me some bread from next door... I sit fearing being LACED INTO A DRESS. We end up re-scheduling and leave. I can't meet family friends out for dinner and just ask mom to take me home. Sit on the couch for a couple of hours. Apparently lying down is all I can do then mom gets home and is like "there's nothing on tv- why don't you just go to bed" which I do. Next day is better but I don't feel like I've felt 100% for an entire day since.

Sunday.
Ginormous bridal show. Lots of brochures- half in the basket already. Nothing else much of note.

Monday.
Try on front runner dress again since weren't able to Hellday... Er Saturday. It's a really lovely dress. They took my measurements so whenever I decide they can just sent it out to be made (?) or whatever they do-- signal the elves? We also went shopping Monday I believe where Mom grabbed everything I liked and bought it for me for xmas.

Tuesday.
Mr. Darcy came over and home we went.

And I've been writing for enough time I bet everyone is my office is suspicious so END ACT 1.


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