PLEASE tell me you all have better pictures than I captured. Share with me!

Scarlett

Just in case Margeaux was checking in w/ the blog before she boards her plane to Jamaica I wanted to tell her that we had a grand 'ol time at last night's wedding.

Things I learned last night:

1.) the international sign for Squirrel sex
2.) In the judgement call of "do I wear my 4 inch heels to walk down the stairs to the bathroom?" I should have opted FOR shoes. Hindsight is 20/20.
3.) Mr. Darcy can moonwalk.
4.) That chick we used to work with is named Nicole NOT Elizabeth. Even though I think she has corrected me before.

What Rhett learned last night:
Don't give me a coke unless it has been spiked with bourbon!

Thanks for the memories!

Scarlett

I clearly work for Communists....it's 3:41pm on Friday and I am STILL at work....

Since TFMD and Scarlett gave a re-cap of their weekends, I am bored, and trying to hold off on eating lunch just yet, this would be a perfect time to talk about my weekend.

Um…Friday: Went out with a friend for some drinks and then met up with our respective men. Nothing too terribly exciting. I was a little tipsy, maybe a 5 on the drunk scale. I couldn’t stay out late because Preakness was Sat morning.

So Sat around 7am I get my 1st Preakness call…It’s from the Soon To Be Divorcee. She is running late, but talked to our other friend is on her way. Ok cool, call me when you are about 30 mins away. I go back to sleep. Get another call, she tells me our other friend is also running late. At this point, Cam tells me to get up I need to get ready. Ugh. He is right but I hate him for making me get up right now. Long story short, we make it to the bus on time, and off to Baltimore we go.

We get there around 11am. People are already drunk. I stick with Gatorade and water…too many libations from the night before. Instead of drinking in order to deal with the drunken WT, I take an ant-anxiety pill. Yay drugs. I really don’t care that I am getting beer slipped on me or am starting to develop an awesome farmer’s tan. Whatever. Such is life, right? Around 2pm I am getting annoyed. Damn pill is wearing off. I decide I will self- medicate and have my first drink, Black- Eyed Susan. These are yummy!! Now since the soon to be Divorcee and friend have been drinking, they need to use the bathroom. Up until this point, we haven’t really ventured off. We stayed in our little circle and didn’t realize the mass chaos that was going on. People were WASTED. I’m not saying drunk like they talking to loud, or drunk like slurring. I mean drunk like throwing beer cans at the fools who decided to run across the tops of Porta-Potties.
Don’t believe me, take a look here.

Insane.
I can’t deal with this. I leave them and go back to my chair. Have my 2nd drink. Things in the circle are ok….and then we all hear people screaming. Some guys about 15 feet away are fighting. Drunk people want to ‘play’ too, so now coolers, chairs, and beer cans are flying into the fight. This happens about 5 times over the next 2 hrs with different groups of people. It was basically just riots. The police finally come and break it up. Thank God. I feared for my safety at one point. I managed to stay out of harm’s way, until the very end of the race. Ugh. I didn’t move in time and got pelted on the leg with a beer can. I have a lovely welt. I can only imagine what the fools who participated in the Porta-Potti Trot look like.

We finally get home by 10:30pm. It was a super long day. There is no way I can go out. I went home and feel asleep.

Sunday I was lame, ran errands and rested.

All in all in was an ok weekend.

I feel like this summer if going to fly…. between people coming into town, bdays, and weddings, the next free weekend I have isn’t until June 15t.

Ok…well on that note. Time for me to go get lunch.

See you all soon
Clem

Thank Margeaux for that weather update. I shall stay glued to my monitor.

Gots to pack now!

Latas
Scarlett

P.S. Thank you Clem for the song that I stole!

Because I can't control the weather I refuse to stress about it. BUT, I do think it's fun to compare Weather.com and Accuweather and see how much the forecast changes not only day to day but hour to hour. SO, while you may not care at all, I will amuse myself by keeping an updating display of the forecast for this weekend. While I am also watching the forecast for Friday and Saturday, I shall only bore you with Sunday b/c that's really the day that matters.

Monday, May 21; 11:09am
weather.com - 90 degrees, partly cloudy, 20% chance of rain
accuweather - 85 degrees, sunny with patchy clouds, 17% probability of thunderstorms

Monday, May 21, 9:25pm
weather.com - 91 degrees, partly cloudy, 20% chance of rain
accuweather - same as above

Tuesday, May 22, 10:42am
weather.com - 88 degrees, partly cloudy, 20% chance of rain
accuweather - 83 degrees, partly sunny, 17% probability of thunderstorms
stay tuned....

I should not be blogging, but instead showering and bringing out the pretty to arrive at my salon appointment (but perhaps a little shopping before). This is much like cleaning before a maid arrives. I just don't want Nicole, my hairdresser, to think that I live slovenly even though I live slovenly.

My weekend as follows:

Friday night Rhett and I ate dinner and began a new series for us: Weeds. Very Good. Then we decided to walk around the mall for a few minutes because that is where the Starbucks is located.We went home so Rhett could meet his online D&D buddies for a rowzing game of WOW! I occupied myself with some unfinshed projects.


Saturday night we (meaning Rhett and the Beldings) headed down to a gallery opening for one of Mrs. Belding's college classmates from art school. It was a good show and funny to hear Mrs. Belding's inside jokes that from an outsider sound like another language. Then we returned to their house where they thankfully provided us w/ dinner since I have not shopped in days, to avoid spoiled food in my fridge during my trip. It was there that I received the "Ginger Spice" question from TFMD. Thank goodness Mrs. Belding knew the answer.

Sunday I had a fussy moment w/ my bathroom floor. I literally and unrationally cried and spewed forth how much I hate my house while scrubbing the floor on hands and knees. For the record, I'm chalking this up to a little thing called PMS. This morning I do not hate my house. We've reconciled.

In the evening I had to peruse a bookstore since 1) I'd watched all my Netflix 2) read both of my library books 3) three hours until bedtime. So we went to the bookstore and splurged on the 2nd overpriced coffee drink of the weekend. I found two books on the clearance rack that will either be really good, or really bad, but I was willing to give it a shot.

Now I really must shower.

See you all really soon.
Scarlett

Thank God it wasn't Ginger.

I'm sure there were more exciting weekends than mine but I don't feel like working just yet so you'll have to endure my tales.

Friday I brought Mr. Darcy to a dr's appt in the morning and decided since I was coming in late to DRIVE (IN A CAR!!!!!) to work. Something that has not be attempted before! It was a quick little jaunt to work. The ride home on the other hand... Let's just say that I left work at 4:15 and arrived at my door (albeit with pizza and beer) at 6:30. Not fun. Fuck you George Washington Parkway being stopped from Roosevelt Island to the Beltway for no reason.

ANYWAY upon arriving at home Mr. Darcy and I caught up on a good portion of our tv including LOST and The Office, of which both were great.

Saturday we were totally posh and went to Café Bonaparte in Georgetown for brunch where we had super delish Bloody Mary's and I got my fill of crepes with nutella.*

The then plan to end all other spring cleaning plans was set into motion. I think it was:
Spring Cleaning 11:
This time we'll really finish.

Which we did not but we made GREAT strides in the kitchen, banished the spider plant that followed Mr. Darcy home from work outside, and did roughly a bajillion loads of laundry ALL of which are now put away as well.

Finally around 9 we were trying to decide what sort of fun we should reward ourselves with when a co-worker of Mr. Darcy's called and invited us over for a cookout! Hooray!!! We love cookouts. On the way some chick called up the radio and in the dumbest "are we really teaching our children in public schools voice" said that her friend was listening to the radio last night and thought that the DJ had said Johnny Depp had died. Then the DJ made fun of her and was like - not so much - it was Jerry Falwell in Lynchburg, VA who this girl had never heard of (shocker!) BUUUUUUT without the benefit of reading it as you are I was like "TELL ME he is not talking about Geri Halliwell!" This thought was immediately banished since- what the hell would a spice girl be doing in Lynchburg, VA then I remembered the papers were all afire a couple of days ago b/c of crazy preacher dying and THAT sounded a lot more Lynchburg but then it occurred to me- scary, posh, baby, sporty-- what spice is/was Geri?!? Mr. Darcy couldn't help me so I called Scarlett who also went "scary, posh, baby, sporty--" then ran down several blocks (or into the next room- but the other way sounds better) and asked Mr. Belding's Baby Momma who blessedly reminded us- GINGER! Ahh problem solved.

Back to the cookout. Had some food. Chatted a bit then randomly we watched some boxing match. The first one was very cool because these dudes just wailed on each other the entire time. It was totally like this:




Only one was from Columbia and in his prefight interview montage thing said he was so poor he would catch and eat cats when he was little and neither was a chicken.

Then the second fight LOOKED like it would be good b/c on guy was all thug skillz 4 life and from the 'Lo and had a rapper that performed while he walked down with him but the fight super sucked. BOO crappy fight.

ANYWAY. Sunday. Hmm that was yesterday. What did we do? Hmm... Interesting question. Oh yeah! It was kind of low key. We took a walk and stumbled upon this giant spanish celebration where they had tons of tents set up and everyone was wearing flamenco costumes which was interesting and unexpected. Watched Hide and Seek which was okay. Not great not horrible... Okay. How I judge movies, by the way, is whether I'd watch them again if they were on tv. And this one- maybe. If the remote was far away or nothing else was on I'd catch it for a bit.

We also spend several intense hours planning for our first Peapod grocery shopping experience creating lists and finding recipes to sustain us for 2 weeks(-ish) only realize we weren't logged in or something and have to do it over again. But it delivers Wednesday 7-9pm so hooray not having to go to the grocery store! And of course The Simpsons and Family Guy were on and that's always fun.....

Yeah that was pretty much it. Now I know there were OTHER more exciting weekends out there so I will consider the floor open at the moment....

Pop/Snuf (who is shall now and forever refer to as the "Us'") since you are not online I shall be vague in case there are those who should be surprised but how goes with the sleeveless turtleneck sweaters? An idea, by the way, that makes me laugh every time i think of it.

You should really get ESPN

So I've been telling people the following story and every once in awhile (and I guesssss more often than not) they give me a strange look (and it's even stranger since these looks are coming over the internet) so I have now been led to believe that everyone knows the general concept but when the general became a for-sure and a timetable was drawn up I never mentioned that.

The story begins with the several premises: a) the Mr. Darcy are returning to our cold homelands of Harwvaaaaard Sqeers (cahrs and nawt) in September, b) I am not allowed to tell anyone at work this and c) I forget rule b when drinking.

So My Namesake left 2 weeks ago for another job and we had happy hour to celebrate her luck at the Old People Place AAAARRRRPPP where benefits are a-plenty. But my namesake has a big mouth so even with her leaving I can't tell her. Now all of this on top of the fact we went to the Public Station or Pump or something like that where happy hour has $2 draft beers and HOLYCRAP that included Guinness. SO drinking drinking drinking and I end up vaguely telling one of the project managers who is originally from that area that I'm going to move but SHHHHHHHH!

SOOOO fast forward to last week when ANOTHER project manager writes me an email about a project and at the end mentions something about me being a Red Sox fan which a) is SO not true that it was shocking and b) shit shit shit did the one PM squeal and now they all know? The kicker is that she wrote at 5 and I didn't get it until I got back from yoga at 6. Yowza.

So insert lots of freaking out blah blah blah. I write the second PM trying to weasel it out of her what she meant and ESPECIALLY nervous that she would come over and be like "I heard blah blah blah" in front of everyone then I have to start lying badly and blotching uncontrollably and bad news for all.

TURNS OUT when I first started we filled out this wee survey for a booklet we handed out to the rest of the company about our processes and for the question "what will you do after you leave here" I wrote something like "go back to the land where somehow Red Sox fans were allowed to roam free" and she misinterpreted. WHEW. Holy scared as hell!

SO that's all good.

I'll run through the rest of my weekend quickly:

Went home

Saw priest- have okay of Church to be married and little book to pick readings from.

Picked linens and entire menus for wedding.

On a whim stopped by cake place and got yummy little sample.

Tried on dress [must work biceps and get tan and learn how to take a picture in which I don't look like an asshole]

Went to yummy Italian dinner.

Took 15 year old sister to rated R zombie movie which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be plot wise considering the first 28 Days Later was really good- though she was scared as shit in the beginning.

Sleep.

Up.

Ran manically around town looking for mothers day gift only to end up going home and buying one online.

Mr. Darcy's parents came.

All parents, Mr Darcy and I go out to swanky lunch.

Mr. Darcy's parent's leave.

Mom's friend and children come and pizza is had by all.

Lots of chatting.

Friends and children leave.

I go through Act III of Romeo and Juliet with my sister trying to get her to understand it.

Sleep.

Up.

5 novacaine shots, 6 filled cavities, $860.00 and 2 hours later I feel like this:

Lots of mumbling.

Meet with florist and pick more flowers since idea of wedding has changed.

Naptime.

Dinner.

Fly home.



Whew. Exhausted all over again just writing it.

Crisis Diverted!

So, Canada responded to my email. I'll paraphrase:

Dear Scarlett,

Shit! I wish I hadn't procrastinated in telling you of our plans. I don't think we'll (and especially the baby) be ready to travel to see you on the 20th, after taking two days to get to STL. Are you still planning a trip to NY in the fall? You should come visit.

Tootles,
Canada

Allow me to interpret since I speak Canadian so fluently!
* We really wanted you to volunteer to come to STL so that we wouldn't have to inconvience ourselves.
* You should come see us in our new house in NY, since that is more important than seeing your and Mrs. Belding's houses and her baby, whom we've never met.
* RECIPROCITY IS OVER-RATED!

So Canada emailed me and Mrs. Belding to inform us (with one weeks notice) of her plans to travel half way across North America. She'll be in STL for two weeks and would really like to come see our houses. A few thoughts:

1) One doesn't plan long distance trips like this on a week's notice when traveling with a young baby. Why didn't I hear of this before?

2) I can only accomodate her visit on one day, Sunday the 20th, if she is unable to make it down, too bad. It's really a shame (no it's not!) that I'll be in DC for most of her visit to STL.

3) I really wish the rest of my house was done and furnished.

-Scarlett

Pre-Rehab





Post-Rehab




The kitchen is now an olive green as opposed to Easter egg green. The living room is called ocher, instead of Velveeta Yellow! Yay! More pics to follow!

-Scarlett

Let the stress begin! The last 15 months of planning this wedding have been fine. A few moments of frustration and stress here and there but those were resolved quickly. Apparently everything was going TOO well and it was only a matter of time before it caught up with me. Let me recap the latest stressers.

Friday I went to pick up my newly altered dress. At first everything looked fine. But, upon closer inspection, it was FAR from fine. Due to having to alter three layers of fabric to make the dress fit how dang short I am, I now have a pucker of the fabric on my left side. Coupled with that, the ribbons that are on the bottom of my dress are far from laying flat. They are all puckered and look horrible. The seamstress seams to think this is due to it being steamed and can easily be fixed by ironing it. The puckering however will require further alterations. My mom gives them one hour. We go to lunch and come back. Viola! The pucker is gone. However, in it's place, the entire front of the dress is not laying flat and is all wavey - not a good look. The hem is also now screwed up and the 2nd layer of fabric hangs out beneath the top layer. And, the ribbons are still puckered. I go back this Wednesday to try again and hopefully it will be better. Needless to say, I am not happy but I don't cry - I accept it and hope it will work out this week.

That brings us to today. I have my hair trial set for noon. I called a few weeks ago to confirm. My mom and I get there today and much to our surprise, they are not open! This is a HUGE problem and I am PISSED! Their voicemail recording says they are now open 6 days a week but their Web site says "Now open Sunday and Monday." It's Sunday - they weren't open. This is a HUGE concern b/c as you know, the wedding is on Sunday and now I am terrified they won't actually be open and be there on the wedding day. I left a message today saying what the problem was with my cell phone number. I believe they open at 9am on Monday as that is when they open every other day. We are picking up the marriage license at 10am. If I get home from that and still have not received a phone call from them, they can bet their asses there will be some serious bridezilla unleashed on them. As it is I am pissed and expect them to get me in next Saturday for a trim, highlights and trial at noon - no excuses. A discount for my troubles would be great too. Seriously, you do not F with a bride 2 weeks before her wedding! I am fuming and expect a huge apology tomorrow. They took the appointment - knowing it was a Sunday. I called and confirmed and all was fine. What the hell happened?!

I am happy that everything else is falling in to place but seriously, why do the things I consider to be up there on the importance scale have to fall apart? What do I do if they now tell me they can't do our hair on the 27th? Finding another salon at this point in time would not be easy and would totally suck.

All I can think now - bring on the wine! Just keep me drunk and perhaps it will all be ok. I don't need food anymore - just alcohol and cigarettes. Perhaps the occassional salad or graham crackers but seriously, cigarettes and alcohol can get a girl through the tough times pretty well.

Maybe this is the stress I need to lose some weight. But really, this just flat out SUCKS!!! Grrrrrr!!!!!!

If I may, I'd like to address the difference b/t Ice T and Ice Cube.

Ice Cube, co-founder of the 'ol skook hip hop group N.W.A., later left the group cause he thought EAZY-E was stealing his benjamins. As a soloist he released a song called "It Was a Good Day" which as I've previously mentioned contained the best sample ever: Michael McDonald's "I Keep Forgettin' "

Ice T incited controversy with his release of a song "Cop Killer" only to jump the shark in true sell out fashion by playing a cop on a television series. Ironic? No, just lame!

Okay, now I must get back to hosting my house guests. BTW - the first floor of my house has had all the plaster repaired and both the kitchen and living room are painted. I love it! It's starting to feel like my house. Today my new sink will be installed. Yay!

-Scarlett

Thoughts in no particular order.

• So just when i'm thinking to myself- hm i wonder how Scarlett is and how the rehab is going and how the 'Lo was sure enough there is a blog post that describes just such events.

• I have trouble understanding the difference between Ice-T and Ice Cube. I think this is the same problem i have understanding left from right and that there mild dyslexia. I know one is in Law and Order SVU and has a crazy porn star wife and one is in those horrible "Are Done/There/Etc Yet" movie and used to have actual street cred in the 90s but I know not who is who beyond the Ice.

• Bored today? Take the reader survey at gofugyourself.com. It's 5-10 minutes that you DON'T have to spend working. Hooray!

• I would really love a pizza bagel today. Chances of actually procuring a pizza bagel are about 20-80. :(

• Yesterday at a meeting I was at a loss for words to describe the big umbrella like thing that goes on flashes during large photo shoots that was peaking in the side of one of the photographs i had chosen so I called it "some camera/photo shoot accoutrement" and someone in my small department asked me if i made that word up. then my boss said "ooh it sounds french". This is only the most recent installment of "why my co-workers need 'word-of-the-day'". Previous installments include: a printer who kept using the word "unscrupulous" in the context of bad importing practices of foreign paper companies and after he left my boss was like "what was that word he kept using? i need to go look it up". Only myself and one other co-worker spoke up to give a definition. That one was the worst b/c a) it starts with "un-" you can pick up a lot from that and b) hello, friggin CONTEXT. if you have to impose laws and standards to counteract something - a something that starts with "un-"- buy a friggin vowel kids. The first instance of this was when i had been here only a couple of months and they were trash talking one of our other co-workers who's an old hippie and they were saying she was a "witch" as her religion but they knew it wasn't "witch" so i said "you mean wiccan" and they looked at me like i was going to start shaking feathers at them and draw circles on the floor and chant.

• I bought a dress for Margeaux's upcoming nuptials at Filene's Basement and it might have been in the junior's section but all the dresses were lumped together so i really can't tell. It's black and white and Scarlet has already called yellow accessories so I'm going to call green, blue and orange since I can't make up my mind.

• Yesterday for lunch I wanted to eat healthy but I also wanted pizza so I did a revolutionary thing. I had a small spinach salad with oranges (the vitamin C helps your body absorb the iron better) and a single slice of cheese pizza from Whole Foods. ! Eating good and slightly bad foods together. I am a genius. Something about having cake and eating it too... Ok that's too far.

Well I sure gave sobriety the ol' college try!

13 days is longer than I've gone w/o a drink in years so... kudos to me! It only took 48 w/ my in-laws!

-Scarlett

This is not my actual bathroom, just a picture of my new sink.



The faucet (not shown) is in a finish called "oil-rubbed bronze." It looks almost black. We went shopping at the Expo Design Center in STL and within 10 minutes spent a small fortune on what I like to call "bathroom installation art." I shall photograph the fugly incumbant sink in the morning light so you all can see how I might be this excited about it's replacement.

Don't let me go back to Expo or I may just have to sell a kidney!

-Scarlett

Haikus from the 2-hour staff meeting starting with forced socialization of employees (and pizza, though the pizza was good)

So yesterday was supposed to be haiku day where I wrote the whole blog entry in haiku form about the natural family planning but stupid work kept getting in the way. BUUUUT I found myself with two hours and a post it pad so here are some of the highlights. [Aside: I like to bring post it pads to meetings. I find for doodling, writing and other diversions they are less noticable than a large pad. Food for thought. End Aside]

O Crazy Lady
You've probably worked here long
Stop asking questions

People on the phone
Who are calling from their homes
Hint- use mute button

Such boredom for me
Powerpoint is the devil
Boss likes his own voice

Um, did you just say
The "web" is going to be "big"
Is this '94?

Good Lord in Heaven
The A/C is in full power
Nipples out in force

Crazy keeps going
Your bobblehead keeps nodding
Do you get whiplash?

Now I'm sure this has been mentioned before more than once but Clem seems to need a visual reminder.

I would also like to take this moment to say that Southwest is now scheduling flights at that time. It's about $50 each way if you fly from BWI.

Ugh meeting. I'll just sign off for now.

Snuff's right - buck up campers! I'll be visiting you all soon, and Margeaux's getting hitched...that should make everyone smile.

Also, please remind us all of the link to your radiostation. I've tried to find it in my gmail but I gave up after, oh three minutes. Thanks, Snuff!

Peace out,
Scarlett