3 o'clock candy

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A couple of random thoughts:

1. Hand dryers in men's bathrooms - whats that all about? I got used to "the American way" of having the automatic paper towel dispenser and would like to market in Europe. However competing with these guys is the electric handblower camp. Now they claim its better for the environment since you are not using up trees, blah blah. But surely when you hands are as hairy as mine - and you need at least three full cycles to be dry - I ask you how much electricity is being required to fuel this? APTDs rule okay.

2. You know you're working too hard when your laptop is consistently heavier than your suitcase on business trips.

3. Europeans have no sense of order or manners when deboarding a plane.

snuff said...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I simply do NOT know what to think of the following images of Daniel Radcliffe, man-boy from 'Arry Potter. Be aware that he is 17 years. Is it even LEGAL to look upon these shots?




Glad to see he is not being type-cast! With the beard he kinda reminds me of Ryan from The O.C.? What do you bet that Clem could find (in less than 3 links) a clock counting down the days until Daniel becomes a man?


Monday, January 29, 2007

I should say which colors go where. The living room will be "bamboo" - which is the off white with yellow undertones. The dining room will be errorniously titled "rum rasin" which is the orange-y red, but the name implies purple. The kitchen will be "woolen vest" a grey-green with yellow undertones.

These chairs have been picked out to outfit my living room.

clicky here

sorry for the lack of link - but this blog platform sucks today and is on my list!

stupid blog keeps screwing up when I try to show you all my pretty paint and fabric choices. EFF THIS!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Co-worker of the pushy sales woman has emailed me via MySpace therefore I will not be logging on for the next few days, nor will I be opening the message since he can tell if I've read it.

Oh, the lengths I will go to to avoid people.


Friday, January 26, 2007

This post definitely falls under the label blogorrhea (really- that post is not on the main page anymore- you mean i'm going to have to research it to get the correct spelling- really, internet? fine then. be that way)

So i would not consider myself makeup crazy. My mom, yes. My sister, yes. Myself, eh. I have come to the point where i wear at least blush every day but not always eye shadow and never foundation. Oh and i'm a giant tightwad and wait until i go home to sift through the endless free sample gifts my mom/sister has acquired for things the blondes have deemed "too dark" for them to wear.

But what i super love is Tarte. They're colors are nice and cool and wear well blah blah blah blah- what i really love is their names for things. Everytime i go to Sephora I B-line upstairs, around to the front of the store in the middle aisle facing towards M street and stare at all of the names of the eye shadows ("bathtub gin", "pink panty pull down", "peyton place", "no, no, nanette", "867-5309", "hot lips hoolihan"...), their double ended lip gloss ("ferris & sloan", "cliff & clair", "luke & laura", "westley & buttercup"...), and cheek stains, which always get top honors in the mags for long wear and natural color ("tickled", "sunkissed", "dollface", "tipsy"...).

Crap i have work to do. OOOOOK i guess you're all saved this time. But next time- twice the rambling to make up for it!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Awkard Situations That Would All Be Avoided If I Knew How To Say NO!

No, I'm not talking about that thing Rhett keeps asking of me...ha j/k! I'm talking about hosting a Mary Kay party. So here is the deets -

Co-worker at the merchant of housewares and scented candles works approximately 20 hours per week. His wife has complained about his lack of ambition and money so she begins to sell Mary Kay. Her forceful techniques make her move up in the company and now she is close to earning the pink Cadillac.

I have met the wife ONCE at the company Christmas party that this couple hosted at their house. She seemed nice when she was asking all kinds of questions about how we ended up in P-town. I told her some friends live in town and that's how we heard of it.

Fast-forward to this week...I get a phone-call at work during my shift. I'm told it's so and so's wife. I think, "huh, that's odd?" So, I answer and get suddenly bombarded with this maniacal fast-ball sales pitch telling me that she has time to include me this week for her "faces." For every friend I invite I'll get $10 in product. At which point I say,

oh well yeah, okay, but I'm kinda busy this week so I'll get in touch with your husband "A-x-x-x" via MySpace.

She responds - oh do you have to work a lot this week? (now I can't lie b/c her husband has access to my work schedule)

I'm like - Well, I'm helping my friend out at her theatre.

She says - Oh, what theatre?

I throw out the name and quickly try to get off the phone.

Why am I unable to say, "Well actually I'm not interested. I wear M.A.C. exclusively but thanks for thinking of me. Goodbye." Instead I've left it open for her to pursue me further.



Traffic Court

So I am not quite the rebel that I've been known to consider myself in my head at times. But what I will say, like anything, practice makes perfect. Not that I want to become totally nonchalant about appearing in court, but maybe just to the point where I don't feel like I'm about ready to throw up. But there in lies the problem. If practice makes perfect, I might be doing time before I get good at it.

So picture it. Tuesday morning. About 100 people in this court room. The judge is already pissed off because apparently a good majority of the population does not know their own name. He kept calling up people and someone else would come. So then he gets to my name, which I do know. And it's a good thing I do know all of my names since he called me Diaxx Stoxxxxxx Coxxx Lixxxxx. Thank you DMV for effing up my drivers license. So in my head I keep saying, remember to call him Your Honor. Someone else just said yes sir and I've watched enough Law and Order to know that can ruin a Judge's day. So, I had to plead guilty since I (and by I, I mean Snuffuluficas) parked in a handicap spot. Yeah, yeah I hear ya, horrible, but we really didn't see the sign. So then I asked for it to be dropped to the minimum of $100 in the most shaky, mousy voice you've ever heard. And he said asked if I'd ever gotten a ticket for this before to which I answer, No Sir. DOH. So now I am red, sweating and about to puke on him, and he tapped his gravel and reduced it. Pshew. But then they have these things called court costs, which I am unaware of since I've never been to court before. What a rip dude. Half again as much. So $156 later, I am one step closer to becoming the rebel I sometimes portray myself as in my head. Any future court cases, I will be happy to co-defend on. Thank you.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

[finally BLOGGER! i've been waiting for your updates to get done forever]

A couple of rebuttals and comments:

Margeaux- sorry about the bad week. For you I prescribe Demitri Martin's comedy special on (where else?) Comedy Central. Actually that goes for all b/c that is only way you will fully understand the post that I am draft that will come out next Thursday. To entice you here is a sample (probably horribly paraphrased) "Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Once you have it you can't get rid of it"

Genius people. Genius.

Clem- we have already spoken at length about the rabbits so I will touch on the skiing. Put your weight into your uphill leg. Note that that implies that you a going perpendicular back and forth across the mountain i.e. MAKING TURNS. This is a good thing. Later on they tell you to put your weight into your downhill leg but I think that's more advanced and if you put your weight into your uphill leg and bad things happen you fall up the mountain (not so bad) versus the other way where you fall (continuously) down the mountain (not so good). Also if you know more about ice skating use the same principals as hockey stops and then if you get good you can hang back and wait for everyone to get down the hill and stop and wait for you then you can come down and hockey stop and spray them all with snow. Ahh memories.

Secondly bailing is sometimes a good thing (quickly approaching tree) but note the first time I took Mr. Darcy skiing (which was his 2nd or 3rd time ever versus my millionth or bajillionth time [started ski lessons 2nd grade]) that one the last run he bailed and when he got up he said "hm my thumb hurts" and took off his glove and his thumb was all jammed back and trying to come out of his wrist. And to address that I will tell you if you do hurt yourself in that fashion- don't wait to go to the ski patrol- there's snow all a-fucking-round you. Put some on your boo-boo it will help with swelling. But then go to ski patrol and then go to bar later. Everything will right itself.

BUT. The one injury that skiing cannot screw with is of the ankle variety for I have indeed gone skiing with sprained ankles. Boot=cast. Ankle's not movin.

What's going on with me? My life kind of revolves around my morning crossword puzzle which I'm ACTUALLY GETTING GOOD AT! I can usually get 3/4 done but have yet to complete one- keep watching for updates there. I've entered the second season of Veronica Mars and have taken over the majority of our netflix movies in a violent coup d'etat so I'll have 8 whole episodes ahead of me this weekend. Tomorrow Mr. Darcy and I are going to see "Into the Woods" at the Signature Theatre which I BELIEVE Scarlett auditioned for before she left. Into the Woods is my favorite musical by far and I am very excited to go see it.

OH Margeaux asked about wedding plans awhile ago. Thus far we have reception area, church, priest, my dress, dj, florist, and choices for the bridesmaid's dresses. I suppose this is the place to air my grievances (despite it not being Festivus)..... Not that it's a grievance but... Arg. So I've never been in a wedding besides my Mom's which OBVIOUSLY I wasn't expected to do anything (although I'm told that I memorized her vows in case she forgot something to help her out) so I've been picking Clem's brain on occasion and got Emily Post's wedding planner to make sure I'm not expecting more than I should buuuuuuuuut... I picked out dresses, made a website with all of the options and the dress makers info and prices and asked for opinions and got a lot of "I kind of like #1 and #3 but it's whatever you want" so then went back and used that info and picked a few more and reposted all of them on the website and was like "this is something I want you to like and be comfortable in and maybe be able to wear again. I am shaped differently than all of you- you know what looks good on you- LET ME KNOW which if any dresses you like and why yada yada yada" and got more 2 sentences emails like "I like 3 and don't like 2 b/c I think the straps my fall off my shoulders". And my mom is freaking out about the shower and thinks that the girls should be helping at least with planning crap to do and I know that they're probably not thinking as far into the future and my mom and still seeing it as months and months away BUUUUUT

I narrowed down to 3 dress choices and sent them out an email telling them all the stores in the area with the dresses and the ones that overlapped if possible and the ratings that the stores were given b/c (as we found out over thanksgiving) it's not hard to have a horrible experience at some of these stores and I haven't heard anything back and I'm sure this is a case of my Mom being crazy-proactive and in turn driving me crazy but I don't know.

But all I know is I'm realizing I'm probably going to have to be a little more bitchy about this and I'm totally going to be all fucking Old Testament eye for an eye when THEY GET MARRIED so they better seem a little more interested.

Hm that actually feels a bit better. That is why my favorite word is catharsis. So I'm not really mad but it's kind of like WTF when Margeaux is asking how things are going and Scarlett is already spinning the tunes in her head and I know it's because they're going through/gone through the whole sha-bang as well. And La Sicilian has asked and seemed more interested and I know she works from 8:30 to 6 everyday and has an hour commute both ways so not really a lot of time to jaunt off and try on dresses. So I guess it's mostly OJ. You know what- she is totally pulling a signature Canada/OJ move here. Like I'm 53% sure she's said something to La Sicilian and she just too wrapped up in her own bat shit crazy world and trying to be SUPER COOL that it just doesn't even cross her mind to OOOH I DON'T KNOW help me out when she gets out of work at 3 in the afternoon and doesn't have class after 3 days a week.

And THAT ALL BEING SAID I'm really not angry and they are my friends and I have hopefully tricked them into coming down and visiting it's just sometimes I wish that we could drop a lot of the girl shit and just say what we're thinking and that OJ would drop the oh-I'm-so-crazy-and-"liberal"- and-smoke-pot-LOOK-AT-ME-THAT-MEANS-I'M-COOL -even-though-I-got-this-crazy-"liberal"-at-a-super-richy-rich-liberal-arts-school- and-my-parents-just-stopped-supporting-me-and-I'm-27

Hmm maybe it's best we don't say what we think.

Well that was quite the rampage bet you'll think twice about asking about wedding plans in the future hmmm ;)

Happy Hump Day !

So a few things....

For those of you who metro, I'm sure you saw this. It's hard to miss a huge rabbit

When I was in college, my roommate bought a rabbit. It was the ugliest (read- scary) animal. White with red eyes, although she tried to convince me they were blue. Riiight. Rabbits are right below squirrels in my opinion.

Moving along.
So next month, Cam and I are going on a ski trip. Um..yeah I don't really ski. Well let me take that back I kinda ski. I get all nervous because I think I am going too fast, and so I try to stop, or slow down. For whatever reason, this is next to impossible for me to do, so I do what one fearing death does, I throw myself to the ground. Yes- literally. I'm sure I look like a fool, but at least I am still alive. One guy actually told me "If you keep doing that, you are going to break something" He is probably right. But again, a broken bone is better than dying. Ok, a little over dramatic, I know. Because it's a group thing and there is drinking and tubing I think I will be ok.

So anyone with skiing pointers, let me know!!

Ok...well time to lunck kids.


Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I'm sorry to hear that Margeaux is having a crappy week.

Pop - I wanted to tell you all day. I had some crazy ass dream where me and my future bro-in-law, KS, were eating rabbit stew in DC. Yeah! WTF??? Anyway, have you heard from him lately? I have a lot of crazy crazy dreams - I suspect it's the drugs either prescriptions or the recreational crack I've been smoking.

So today I went to the theatre where I'll be working. First impression is this: 30 miles outside of P-town is desolate, I need to reinstate AAA, get the car checked over, learn to replace spare tires and remember my cell phone always. It's funny because there is a certain feeling that self-reliance is unnecessary in the city. If your phone fails there is always a pay phone or someone carrying a cell phone. But here it's different. Your ass better be wearing sneakers if you break down. Note to self, put sneakers in car. Second impression is great. I'm really going to enjoy working with these people. You should check out the theatre's website through my MySpace friend called Variety.

This weekend Rhett and I are going to see a show at the theatre. It's very "Branson" but they are all professional and it's not Waiting For Guffman. It should be a very enjoyable job. I'll be working about 20 hours until the summer when I'll probably be full-time.

I'm going to go log off my computer now, I'm becoming a bit like Rhett - on all the time.


Have you ever had a few days where it seems like nothing can go quite right? That's what I've been experiencing lately. First, last week during a particularly rough morning, when agonizing over what to wear, I was changing shirts for probably the fourth time and slammed my arm into my necklace holder, sending it crashing into the wall (almost hitting the cat) and breaking into several pieces. As if this didn't piss me off enough, all my necklaces were now tangled up and all I wanted to do was sit down and cry. Yes, I got my period that morning which might explain the myriad of emotions I was going through.

Second, I got a sinus infection for the 2nd time this winter. I felt like shit and would have given anything to be able to breathe through my nose again. Then, when things seemed to be turning around (I could actuall breathe through my nose again), I took on the somewhat dangerous task of laundry. As I reached in to the laundry sorter to check on the remaining rag that was in there, I managed to bash my mouth into the hard plastic handle, splitting the inside of my lip. So, today, as if my lip isn't sore enough from smashing my mouth so carelessly on a hard plastic handle, I have managed to bite the inside of my lip numerous times (on the other side from where the original sore is) and have now made that into a bloody mess (literally). Why oh why does God hate me so?!

That's all I got for ya. My mouth is a mess, my nose is all dry and I've gained a pound. WTF?! Hope ya'll are having a better week than I seem to be having.

Oh - and Clem - what is this? You get a boyfriend and suddenly we don't hear from you about your trials and tribulations anymore? I live vicariously through you and I am in need of a fix.

Monday, January 22, 2007

For Margeaux:

For The Future Mrs. Darcy:

3 0'Clock Candy Music Editor

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Scared from junk food by reading beauty mags as a pre-teen - I began occasionally indulging in Baked Cheetos. This has turned into an all out and out Cheetos Binge which I'm not very proud of. I'm bringing this into the public forum to keep me honest. I've just finished my last bag of Baked Cheetos.

Down with tasty puffed cheese flavored snacks,

Clemmie - I saw this and thought I should post it....

Me and Clem's Horoscope

Rationally, you know what's happening now is probably best for you and that it's okay if a romance has cooled into a routine arrangement. It's possible that the passion isn't really gone; it's simply transforming into a more stable energy. Avoid temptations to withdraw into yourself. Rather than building a relationship on fantasy, make a commitment to create real love.



I will work on the teleportation if you all promise to visit me in Spring 2008 (I know it's a ways off) for a week of Kentucky Derby and Derby related partays which involve copious amounts of mint juleps. By 2008 we'll have a finished spare bedroom, a couch and not one but two air mattresses and cross your fingers - a finished dining room with actual furniture. The Beldings would also (I'm sure, though haven't asked them) be willing to share their spare bedroom and probably their couch as well.

P-Town is the place to be in Spring 2008. Though I should warn - I think the Derby is in Lullville which is 4 hours away. But we'll work out the deets closer to the actual event.



Saturday, January 20, 2007

I know this isn't really blogging material but i was wondering what everyone is up to tonight and also wanted to see if anyone wanted to come to a hip opening yoga workshop with me Sunday in Alexandria from 1-3 pm. It's being run by the teacher who does my two yoga classes at work and she's great. I'm off to run errands now which is why I'm not taking the time to call everyone but just in case you're browsing the fair internet and see this and want to partake in something tonight or the hip thing tomorrow just let me know!

And Scarlett, please work on developing teleportation/high powered Ruby Slippers so you can Rhett can come play Cranium with me.

An Open Letter to Rhett

Dear Rhett,

We need to talk. For the safety of the humans and animals residing in our home I'm gonna need you to adhere to the following rules:

Do not, under any circumstances, place a pint glass of water on the post which punctuates the bottom of our staircase. As you will recall from last night, this precarious placement resulted in the shattering of said glass when I came barreling down the darkened staircase.

Also, please remember to turn off the space heater, required in our very cold kitchen to prevent frost bite and other winter related maladies, upon leaving the house.

Oh, and don't forget that the back door sticks, so please be kind and double check that it is both shut all the way and locked.

This next one is more of a request than a rule...I have been without a working sink in my upstairs bathroom for two weeks or longer. I understand that you shut the water off to retrieve my contact case lid currently blocking the drain (which could have been prevented with the simple installment of a drain cover, but that is neither here nor there). Could you please finish this task soon, so that I may return to brushing my teeth in the same room where I shower?

Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler

Thursday, January 18, 2007

It has been a while since I wrote anything and while I have nothing important to say, I have several random thoughts to share.

1) why the hell are my tulips growing sideways?! I do not understand this. Are they trying to be like sunflowers and leaning towards the sun? Should I turn them and hope they begin to stand up straight? This is just weird.

2) I have not seen the first two seasons of Grey's Anatomy in their entirety, but I am currently watching the 3rd season (although several episodes were lost when my DVR broke not once but twice) and am also recording the first season as it airs on Lifetime. I did want to watch Grey's when it started a few years ago but it was past my bedtime so I only saw the few episodes that coincided with having the following Monday off of work. Anyway, my point being, I just watched two episodes that I did have recorded and why is it that every damn episode of that show makes me tear up? I am not a super emotional person but seriously, every time that show brings tears to my eyes. Does this happen to you or am I just a big puss?

3) You may be wondering why, in the middle of the day, have I just watched two episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Well, because for the third time this winter I am sick. I am absolutely miserable and am pissed that I am sick again. Going to the doctor in 40 minutes and hopefully getting a miracle drug that will make everything all better. Blah - this sucks!

So, those are my ramblings about nothing. My two cents on Panic at the disco is that I only know the one song that they play on the radio about the "grooms bride is a #$*^@" and probably the only thing I hate more than that song, is that 1) they bleep out the word "whore" and 2) that they bleep out "god." I personally think the whole thing is stupid and while I have already expressed my dislike of the song, I'd like to thank DC101 for playing the song as is and not bleeping anything out.

That is all for me for now. I have to get ready to go to the doctor and have them look at this huge lump on the back of my neck. I think my lymph nodes are there. At least I'm hoping it's my lymph nodes and not a huge growth or something b/c that would really stink. Sigh.

Sniff! Cough! --Margeaux

Dear Music Editor of 3 O'Clock Candy and Other Members With Ears,

First, I applaud your dislike of Panic at the Disco, which I refuse to punctuate or listen to. It is well known in my elantra that the opening bars of I Write Sins Not Tragedies will cause me to veer off of the road in frustrated slaps at the radio dials if it's not changed immediately. That is all the print space I will give to such utter crap.

Secondly, I want to let you know in my favorite morning paper had a little blurb about Benjy Ferree. The express says this

LIVE GARAGE-FOLK. FERREE YOUR MIND. ... Ferree, the recent subject of an article on indie-rock oracle pitchforkmedia.com, has a Beatles-esque melodic ability and seems poised for semi-prominence. Catch him before a "Grey's Anatomy" producer does.

Just thought you might want to check it out because I cannot due to the Gestapo IT Guys at work blocking everything new and cool I might want to go see.

OH and speaking of- OJ told me about this site movief****r.com (now there is not really stars there but a "ucke" but i'm worried that THAT would cause the blog to be blocked from me at work although on second thought i'm sure we've sweared before but whatever). ANYHOO [what was you new anyhoo term pop?) that site has movies and tv shows that you can watch (but very unfortunately not the first season of Veronica Mars which I went to 2 video chains looking for in a fit of madness on MLK jr day because I only have 2 episodes left in the season and i thought i'd die waiting for netflix but sure enough- not dead and dvd arrives today!!!!). But in case anyone has -- say an officle or BETTER YET a real live office and an easily cast aside work ethic-- it is YOUR DAY!

That is all.

It's mine if I want it! I'm spending an hour on Tuesday at the theatre and then taking in a show next weekend to get a better feel for things. It doesn't pay well, but sounds really fun and flexible and perfect! I'll continue working at that merchant of houseware goods in the meantime.

Yay me! I rock!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Cross your fingers for me...my networking has paid off in a potential non-retail job. I'm not quite clear as to the job description, or pay or benefits but I would be assisting the owner of a (play) theatre and the box-office manager. Maybe then, if I'm nice, they'll take pity on me and give me some walk on roles. I have experience as "girl in green dress" during my high school performance of After Dark, originally a film starring Audrey Hepburn.

My would be bosses are stopping by my house in 45 minutes to chat. They both live down the street. I've never had a job interview while sitting in jeans in my kitchen, but hey, that's P-town for you!


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

OMG! Urban Dictionary has finally come up with a word that describes my ramblings....

1. blogorrhea

To write a blog entry just for the sake of posting an entry, not because you have done anything interesting today.

I couldn't really think of anthing good to blog about, so my last post was real blogorrhea.

2. blogorrhea

A blog characterized by excessive commenting on irrelevant facts. We say that the blogger suffers from uncontrollable verbal discharge or blogorrhea.

This guy's blog is full of useless crap. It is like his brain just burst with projectile blogorrhea.

Ha! I love Urban Dictionary...I know Ms. Clem does as well. Oh and speaking of Clem - I have been calling through my phone list on my breaks at my crappy job so you should be on the look out! I'll be hitting your portion of the alphabet soon. Lucky you!

Let's see...other blogorrhea material to mention...Oh! we may be seeing the Scissor Sisters again. This time in STL w/ the SIL. Yay! Cross your fingers that we get tickets.

Miss you guys!

Superfluous Use of Punctuation: Effusions of a Music Snob

Panic! At The Disco....why don't I like you? You seem to meet my standard criteria of young androgenous boys with asymetrical hair cuts, guyliner and a panache for theatrics, but yet I still don't like you. Brandon Flowers of The Killers does your schtick so much better albeit only slightly less contrived. Jake Shears of The Scissor Sisters is a genius stage performer - Panic! here is my advice, take in a show and learn from a master.

I feel that you are a one trick pony - you'll be gone soon enough. Just like Blink-182 and Dashboard Confessionals - thank the flying spaghetti monster that we don't have to listen to that crap anymore while shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch.

Oh, but you get kudos for having a really great band name.

Original blog material not copied and pasted from my MySpace blog...
I'm such a cheater cheater pumpkin eater!

I should mention that I had a very public fall today. In the mall. In front of a ga-gillion people. Now my knee hurts like a mo-fo. I feel that I should preface that I was stone sober. So in case anyone is counting that would be two bad bruises acquired in less than a week. People, I have fair skin, bruises appear much worse on me than everyone else except The Future Mrs. Darcy, who I know knows where I'm coming from. It looks like Rhett beats me!

Ummm....so last night we had The Beldings and their extended family over for a big ol' pot of chili. YUMMERS! Afterward we had neighbors over, and for like the umpteenth time I feel regret for drinking too much and being an ass. Why oh why don't I do what TFMD did and put a moratorium on drinking?? Oh, that's right cause I'm an alcoholic...

I don't got a problem, you got a problem...

Post Script-
On Tuesday I will report my opinions on the Golden Globes and discuss the upcoming Oscars.

Monday, January 15, 2007

What I Did On My Martin Luther King Jr Day Vacation
by The Future Mrs. Darcy

I got my hair did!!!

Friday, January 12, 2007

I wish I was a little bit taller; I wish I was a baller...

I know the contributors of 3 o'clock candy are die hard hip hop fan - you know you ride dirrty (that's with two 'R's) wearing your chain hangin' low while you lean back as you pull up your pants.

Ripped from Stereogum:

Who Killed Hip-Hop?

Taking Nas's last album title at face value, the list-lovers at Blender rank that which may be to blame (via Prefixmag):

10. Young MC
09. The Double Disc
08. The 1985 Chicago Bears
07. The Remix
06. Public schools
05. Michael Jordan
04. Nas
03. Diddy
02. White People
01. 2Pac and Notorious B.I.G.
Granted, they're going for hyperbole and humor (reason for #1: "Hip-hop's two most venerated artists can also be credited with the popular expansion of its Rollie-waving, Cristal-swilling Vice Rap derivative, giving rise to club bankers like Petey Pablo and Fabolous"), but that doesn't excuse forgetting Will Smith.

Any opinions on the topic? Speaking of which, is anyone willing to admit that they've watched the trash television The White Rapper Show? You all can't see this, but my hand is shamefully raised.


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Two if by land, One if by sea...

Justin and Cameron are officially done....you may begin speculating if J.T. will reunite with Britters!

In decidely more happy new for all of us HUGE soccer fans at 3 o'clock candy - heartthrob BECKS is coming Stateside! Woo Hoo!

And finally in news that will only appeal to Margeaux - A Jack Bauer action figure is soon to be found gracing a bookshelf at the Kramer household. You know you'll buy one!

This has been Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler reporting. Goodnight and Good luck bitches!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

For all you music and OC fans click HERE for an artist featured on your beloved show.

So the boss is out of the country and Cam is back in town. What does this mean? Rather than getting here at the usual (late) time of 9:30, I've been a little later. I just don't feel like working, especially knowing that Cam has the week off. I think maybe, just maybe, I may be getting a sore throat today and because I don't want to spread germs it would be best if I stayed home tomorrow or Friday.

Other news, my brother is still in the hospital. Turns out he has an abscess and is going to be treated very conservatively with anti-biotics. He will probably be on those for a few weeks. We just aren't sure it if will be through an IV or if he can take them orally.

Since so much has happened over the last few weeks, I haven't really thought about what my 2007 resolution should be, and than it hit me. I will not worry (overreact, stress, or become paranoid) as much. Note that I am saying 'as much'. It's unrealistic for me to completely stop being neurotic. I think I am just going to embrace it.

Am I the only one with a resolution?


to my sweet Snuffaluffacis!

I love you so!

Monday, January 08, 2007


My mom recommended "The Glass Castle" to me and I have just finished reading it and am fully ready to give it as a recommendation to you all.

It is about the incredibly insane upbringing of the author but FEAR NOT it is somehow non depressing unlike some books by Wally Lamb that I hate more than any other book in the world and if i had a copy i would burn it on principal for COMPLETELY RUINING MY SUMMER IN 2002!!! THE BOOK RUINED MY WHOLE FRIGGIN SUMMER. But this is not like that book. That horrible horrible book. The Glass Castle is genuinely good and thought provoking and interesting. I believe all of you would like it and I'm including a picture of the cover because I like book covers in general.

[*edit to add- i've made the first mention of the book a link in case you want to find a better description/review that i have given]

Hold on to your bonnets, girls!

Okay sorry I remembered one more thing that I wanted to mention....while waiting for Rhett to get his hair cut I went to Borders. Were you all aware of the prolific sub-genre of Jane Austen inspired Pride & Prejudice sequels. Here are some examples of titles which you can pick up at fine retailers:

This is like Harlequin novels for smart chicks. I for one would never be CAUGHT reading one of these...in public.


So, I know I'm REALLY REALLY early but I'm all ready for Margeaux's wedding after having just secured my outfit's accessories. I don't want to talk up the outfit too much for fear of not living up to the hype, but I will say this: when yellow patent leather peep toe heels present themselves you really must not delay in purchasing them. I will be taking loads of ibuprofen with a mimosa chaser before slipping these bad boys on, but it will all be worth it in the end. Stiletto heels do not make one foot loose and fancy free on the dance floor, but I'll look good walking (or teetering) back and forth from the bar.

Let's see what else???? Ummm, hmmm - okay nothing right now!


I understand why some people avoid hospitals- really I do.

You go in with one problem and come out with another.

Sat night around 2am my dad calls to tell me danny is back in the hospital. All day he had a high fever. When he went to bed, my parents made him check it again (it was 103) my dad said you need to go to the hospital, so my brother is getting changed when he gets sick. Apparently you get some spidey sense about these things when you are a parent.

It turns out he has an infection. The CT scan showed some mass where the appendix was. They are giving him high doses of drugs in hopes that the infection (which is possibly a fungus) will move together and than it can be sucked out through a needle. Hopefully the antibiotics work, otherwise he may need another surgery.

This time around he is in the pediatric unit; there was a shortage of beds so they stuck him in there. I actually think that this is good. He gets a private room, the nurse to patient ratio is probably better and nurses are probably a little nicer/empathetic.

So it's just a guessing game at this point- an infectious disease dr came in yesterday to rule out parasites and to see if the infection is something he picked up at the hospital, and today a gastro dr is supposed to stop in and check on him. That might be more info than you needed. Sorry.

I'm not a big religious person, but please keep him in your thoughts/prayers. I'll keep you all updated.



Why do men - and why do their women allow it - drive to the metro, with the man driving and then switch as the man leaves for the metro? Am i just that efficient that if my husband was taking the metro, that I would drive him and just let him out. Why on earth would he drive me, then get out and I drive myself? Maybe had to put on make-up? Can be done whilst driving. Maybe had to make a shopping list? Your husband can't write? Unless anyone can defend this absolutely preposterous occurrence, it will continue to be on the top of my pet peeve list.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

While I quickly eat my bagel and slurp my coffee before heading into work I'd like to share an excerpt from a conversation. Yesterday, talking to my 40-year old manager, who is in a bit of a mid-life crisis, evident by his new hobby - lifting weights, he shared the following:

Manager Bob: "Yeah, I was asked to Prom when I was 27. I told her, 'People would think I'm your dad.' Damn, she was HOT!"

One word - Ewwwwww


Friday, January 05, 2007

I know I've been slacking, but here's a run down of the last two weeks.

I didn't get back into town until the Wed. after Christmas ( I was still up in NJ in the hospital with my brother), and than left on Thur. to go to OBX.

What I learned over New Years-
About 30 people in 2 houses + large quantities of alcohol = drama and gossip.

My only involvement (that I know of) was a girl telling me she made out with Cam and I should be careful because he has a reputation of "getting around". I have come to dismiss this as nothing more than a jealous girl spreading rumors. Although that is not to say I didn't have my neurotic moments. I believe the last one was yesterday. I hope so anyway.

So back from OBX Tues. evening and back to reality on Wed.
I've been sleeping like crap, I think this is due to the excess amount of alcohol I drank over the last 5 days. Seems I can't fall asleep (er, pass out) without numerous libations. So last night I decided instead of tossing and turning until 2am, I should just take some sleeping pills. Surely, that isn't as bad as drinking in order to be able to fall sleep.

Hmmm...what else. So you also all know that Cam didn't go on the trip. We talked basically everyday over Christmas and New Years, which was all good, but not seeing him was harder on me than I expected. I had a little bit of an emotional break-down yesterday and blamed the committee for doing this to me. I was quickly put in my place but non-other than TFMD and was asked if I want Cam to be my b!tch. Of course that isn't true. I just...well.. missed him.

He came back from one trip yesterday afternoon and had to leave again for another last night. I think he was actually in town for about 6 hrs, in which time he needed to go home unpack, do laundry, and re-pack. But he made it a point to stop over before going to the airport again. So nice. He is supposed to get back either Sat night or Sun. Hopefully that will be the last trip for a while. I don't understand how people do long distance relationships. Kudos to you Pop and Snuff.

Ok....well I suppose now I am just rambling- back to work.

Missed you all!!


Umm i'm just wondering how the FUCK washington thinks it's prepared for a terrorist attack when the city cannot handle: THE RAIN.

I'm not talking typhoons or monsoons or hurricanes or even THUNDER AND LIGHTNING. I'm talking about a steady drizzle and the people act like they've been lobotomized.

Secondly, I'd like to challenge someone to a race down an escalator because I can't figure out why it's possible for me to go twice as fast as someone else who would like to catch a train on the lower level. Maybe this is my sport in life. Maybe I am ridiculously fast and there's a gold medal in my future. MAYBE THIS IS MY FRIGGIN SUPER POWER IN LIFE. Or maybe stupid little bitches should just know their weakness and get out of my way.

Because next time I will push you.

OH and crazy old black woman who LAUGHED at the two of us running down the stairs and not making the train and continued laughing for a ridiculous amount of time- you're going on the tracks.

[I'm sorry I will calm down soon.... hopefully]

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Hot Toddies cure what ails ya.

Feeling much better now!
; ) Scarlett

Scared to register here - Could it be?

Anyone heard about this?

This just in....The O.C. is....(I can't bring myself to say it...)

...C A N C E L L E D

Bring on the tears!!! O.C., your show was inconsistent in quality, but I stuck by you regardless. When Grey's was courting me, tempting me to betray you I was true to you, (okay, so in the spirit of honesty - I did stray for one episode) I stuck by when when you wrote in your version of the "Peach Pit" knowing that it would be akward to have bands sell themselves to the teen demographic. But music was always an important 8th character in the show. The right song always swooped in dramatically, soaring and evokative. I cried when Marissa played Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah for Ryan saying "This song reminds me of you." Yes Marissa, it does! I also cried when Imogen Heap's Hide and Seek softly played in the background of season 2's finale. I cried when Ryan broke up with Lindsay to the tune of Pretty (Ugly Before) from the late Eliott Smith. And oh my god, did I cry when Marissa died as Imogen Heap sang Hallelujah.

I guess now that you're leaving the air, I'll cry a lot less.


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

I do feel The Future Mrs. Darcy's job woes and not to be a crappy friend, but what I feel most at the moment is sick...ear ache like I haven't felt since 8 years old, sneezy, runny nose, sore throat and low grade fever.

I fear, with good reason, that my body's immune system is revolting, laying down arms against the invaders, waving the white flag. Their motive for revolting is unclear. I suspect an offense has been made. Perhaps they resent the daily use of an anti-histamine. Or perhaps they don't like green olives or pickles or sour kraut. Maybe still, my liver, tired of being over worked processing the handful of prescription pills on top of my alcohol consumption, rallied the other organs, who in turned rallied the tissues and the blood, who in turned rallied the red and white blood cells, who in turn rallied the antibodies to strike.

Quickly, somebody get me some scab antibodies.


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

New Years Eve Resolutions

Since The Future Mrs. Darcy started the discussion, I shall add mine. For the record, I have no intention of quitting the bottle - even for the month of January.

1. I WILL remove make-up at the end of each day. Smudged day old eye make-up may give Lindsay Lohan her party girl pass, but she's like 19 and I'm nearly a decade older. When I fail to remove it, I look like what my cat Billy throws up after noshing on artificial tree. Besides, thanks to the best new birth control (V-ring) my complexion has never looked so good, so I don't want to screw up the potentially best three years of complexion I have until wrinkles begin to form.

2. Along the same beauty lines...I promise to stop being lazy while only painting the visible toes seen through peep toe shoes.

3. As previously mentioned, I will stop getting on stage when I'm drunk. No need to elaborate. Note: I didn't say that I would stop getting drunk.

4. I will be kinder to myself. I will stop with all the self-deprication. Treat myself with kindness. Stop measuring my worth by someone else's yardstick. Love myself for the fabulous woman that we all know me to be. I am all I need to be.

Live long and prosper!

Look who decided to show up again-- pretty crazy, I know but I recently found myself thinking- how can I stand up to my boss without being fired then I realized that is 3 o'clock candy's strongest point right after figuring out where drunken bruises could have come from!

So. We have all seen evidence that my boss is kind of a bitch. She's passive aggressive, doesn't do anything really boss-like as far as training or mentoring or letting me know anything and lies to save her own ass. SO that sucks but I could have just gone on bitching to all of you about it. UNTIL NOW.

Those of you online on Friday probably got an earful of me complaining through the snot-filled haze about my end of the year review. I had no instructions and really didn't even know we did reviews until a short while before. The reviews consisted of 3 parts: Part A: write basically your job duties and then say how you did; Part B: state you development objectives from the past year and say how you did on them and Part C: (aka most corporate bullshit ever) state how your work effects each of the 5 parts of the mission and how you did on those. I will email you the mission just because I saw and article in the express today about work getting ahold of nasty bloggers and whatnot and don't want to get in trouble. So I spent 3 hours sick as hell trying to figure out what to write because LO AND BEHOLD my boss never set out objectives for me. I found my job description in an email KT sent me when she lured me away from you-know-where and made up some objectives and filled the whole damn thing out. I had to call some woman very high up in HR to get the skinny on it all for me and my other fellow new employees who were walking around scratching their butts as well though first.

She basically said: the people who have only been here one month probably don't need to but the person there 3 months and you as well who have been there 6 months SHOULD because it's the only way you'll get your merit increase. The person there one month probably had any merit taken into consideration when they got their salaries.

SO. Today stupid boss comes by and stops at my desk and is like "HI! How are you? How was your new year? [bullshit bullshit bullshit- then gets to the real reason she came over] So our weekly meeting is when? [such an idiot] Tomorrow- that's right, thanks. So I was looking over your review. I didn't think you were going to fill one out since we really hadn't discussed anything. We'll take an hour and talk about [training you went to earlier in the month]. Ok? Great!"

Now for those of you NOT playing along at home I'll spell it out: because she never went over objectives with me in the beginning of the year (as she just said giggling to a co-worker while she was going over the co-workers review) so I have no chance of getting a merit increase in my salary. Obviously this is not cool. Anyone have any suggestions about what to do next?

Holy crap. Why do I do this? I don't even recall what my last post was. Please please please have updated since xmas. Vague recollection of bitching about boss... Hold please. AWESOME. Ok.

So was sick sick sick last week. Lots of blowing noses which has left my much-abused nose-skin pealing off at the moment- it's totally the new look of 07! Enter Claritin. Now I have no allergies [must find wood, must find wood... Ok and now knocking] so I'm not familiar with what seems to be the most expensive drug in CVS. Claritin is fabulous. Day and Nyquil are (as the commercial states) not as effective anymore but Lordy that Claritin works. The only side effect I can find though is that I don't sleep well with it and it's 24 hour so it's not like I can find a better time to take it.

So. [must find point or direction to story]. Ok. So with the help of Claritin, Mr. Darcy and I went to NY for NYE. We didn't go to midtown as we usually do since that friend realized he wouldn't make it back in time for NYE so we had our fun with La Sicilian in Astoria. We went out and met her new boy on Saturday night then slept in (she got up early and cooked all day-- ugh so guilty for not getting up as well-- but I couldn't see the clock so I didn't realize how late it was...arg) then got up and did some errands in Astoria and watched a lot of tv. OJ and her boyfriend came as well as La Sicilian's new boy and we had ourselves a dinner party. Now shortly before everyone arrived there was worry (on the part of Mr. Darcy and La Sicilian) that we wouldn't have enough booze. We had (I believe) 6 or 7 bottles of wine and 4 bottles of champagne plus around a case of beer for 8 people for dinner then just the 6 of us after. I scoffed saying we had more than enough.

We ate very yummy food and played cranium which Mr. Darcy and I had never played before but bought for the occasion. Mr. Darcy and I did not win which is basically ridiculous and the result of unfortunate rolling but whatevs. We love it and hereby invite all of you to come over and play. So drinking and fun and more drinking (but not heavily in my mind... Can you tell this is all leading somewhere???) and we watch the ball drop and take pictures and call our families and more fun and then break out Taboo which is one of my all-time favorite games which I was paired with OJ's BF b/c it would be an unfair advantage to have the girls vs. guys as we originally thought. We played Taboo and talked until like 4 and all packed into La Sicilians room to sleep. Mr Darcy and I on the futon, La Sicilian and new boy in her loft bed and OJ and her BF on the floor. Due to a great deal of snoring from OJ's BF in our room (he's a smoker of all things you can smoke which results in very uneven insane snoring) and snoring in La Sicilian's roommates rooms (who gone OUT to parties and came back in scores of people in the wee hours) and the Claritin- I did not sleep very well.

So not sleeping... Slight headache... Getting very warm... People finally get up... We're talking a bit and reviewing pictures and I get up and say "I think I'm going to be sick. I think I'm going to be sick RIGHT NOW" and turn around and go into the wee bathroom off of La Sicilian's room. That began a 5 hour vomitting stretch for me. At this time I will mention that we only drank 5 bottles of wine, one and a half of champagne and 2 beers-- for the 6 of us. I had wine, a little champagne, no beer, and a couple of waters for the record. I don't believe I was drunk when I went to bed. None the less I spent 5 hours puking in front of Mr Darcy, La Sicilian, OJ and OJ's BF (thankfully La Sicilian's boy had already left).

Mr Darcy and I left around 3:30 and hit traffic in NJ and THE ENTIRE FUCKING STATE OF DELAWARE. I was not able to hold my head up until the nightmare of Delaware and only ate 5 cold left over fries from Mr. Darcy until about 10 that night. I am still not 100% today although look very nice in my new Christmas clothes from my mom.

I do not know what is wrong with me. I apparently am not able to get anywhere near drunk b/c the next 24 hours plus is hell on earth. I pull muscles in my back and stomach from wretching so violently. SO. I am detoxing the month of january. Diet coke is my new drug of choice so if I see any of you in fabulously smoke free city of DC in the next 31 days (I LOVE YOU ADRIAN FENTRY!!!!!! AND SO DOES MY NEW CLOTHES, SINUSES AND HAIR!!!!) be prepared for me drinking DC- my original Dark Mother and aspartame be damned.

We are finally back in good ol' DC/VA and I am so grateful to finally be back in my apartment, with my bed, my cat and absolutely nobody else but my fiance. We had a good time in ND but by the end I was just ready to go. No matter whose family we are with, 8 days is just too many. I was counting the hours today until we got to leave for the airport and of course, our flight was delayed, which postponed our ETA from the house. However, the time did come and off we went. Everyone piled out of the F-150 Ford pick-up truck for hugs all around. I said good-bye to ME's sister, gave her a hug and said "see ya in May." At this point I turned to ME's dad and quite suddenly reality hit me - I wouldn't be seeing him in May. After 8 days in ND, hours of frustration and just being ready to leave, I broke down in tears. See, as I mentioned before, ME's dad won't be there in May because he leaves in 24 days for training and then in about 4 months from now he'll leave for Iraq for a year. As moody and sarcastic as he can be, he's really just a big teddy bear, and one I've grown quite fond of - especially considering my less than stellar relationship with my own father. I gave his dad a huge hug as the tears rolled down my face and refused to let go. He told me to take care of his son. I cried harder. I eventually let go and turned to his mom, who had tears in her eyes and I quickly forgot being pissed off about fake flowers. I gave her a hug and told her to take care of him for the next three weeks.

Truthfully I wasn't prepared for such an emotional good-bye because I wasn't thinking about it. I had forgotten. In the midst of all the fun and frustration, I had forgotten about the family meeting we had on Christmas day where we discussed what exactly was happening, what he would be doing and what we should and shouldn't do god forbid something happen to him. I feel as though I have behaved like a selfish, petulant child and that while I was getting upset about feeling as though nobody cared about our upcoming wedding, I lost focus of what really mattered - family. I know that the family, and especially CDE (ME's dad) doesn't want anybody to alter their plans because of him, so, I continued on as normal, pushing thoughts of the deployment from my mind because I didn't want to cry for 8 days. I focused on wedding plans because it occupies my time and is a happy occasion, one I am looking forward to. We have joked about taking a picture of CDE from ME's other sister's wedding and having a life size cardboard cut out made to include in the wedding pictures. It breaks my heart that he won't be there to see his only son get married, to share a dance with me and to be able to celebrate with us. However, I am grateful that his length of deployment is only one year and god willing he'll be home with us next May - just in time to celebrate our 1 year anniversary.

On that note, I am rambling, tired and emotional, so I shall end this and go to sleep. I hope you all had a fantastic new year's eve and that your 2007 is off to a fabulous start!


(sorry, I couldn't help myself)

Monday, January 01, 2007

Trivia Pursuit: Pop Culture Edition
Fun Game or Marriage Wrecker

Penny Belding received TPPC for Christmas. We have played it twice, girls vs. boys. These are the tidbits of useless knowledge that had us DOMINATING the boys both times.

  • The animated basketball team who had a dog named Dribbles? The Harlem Globetrotters' cameo on Scooby Doo
  • Pet Shop Boys Song? West End Girls (BTW this was my theme song when I lived in the Central West End of STL)
  • Dirty Dancing was the prequel to Havanna Nights
  • Joey was the 1st Friends character to stick his head in a turkey
  • Bob Dylan wrote Michael Bolton's song, Steel Bars
The boys didn't like their piece of humble pie served warmly a la mode. A lippy Rhett told both me AND Mrs. Belding to "Shut the fuck up!" Rhett thinks it's funny to lose all manners and speak rudely to his host. This was after a few too many tastings of beer during the New Years Eve beer tasting, which was really a posh way of saying BYOB! We are now convinced that during the right circumstance Rhett just might challenge an offender to a duel, demanding satisfaction.

Speaking of New Years Eve, I don't like celebrating this holiday in the Central time zone. It feels very anti-climactic. But regardless, I love the promise of a new year. Clean slate. I look forward to sharing good times at not just one, but two 3 O'Clock Candy weddings. I await Spring when I can turn my dining room from crack den chic to just plain chic. But that is about all I'm planning. I'm giving up planning. I'm taking life as it comes my way, good or bad. I can't wait to see what happens.

Wishing you all glad tidings!
- Scarlett

What I Did On My Christmas Vacation
By Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler

Chapter 5 Homage to the Gibson Flying V Guitar

Too young to see Poison's 1990 Un-Skinny Bop tour, I feel that last week's Trans-Siberian Orchestra performance was a close proxy. I mean, most bands shy away from pyrotechnics these days for fear of repeating a "Great White Inferno" - not TSO - they're hard and shit with their rock opera style Christmas carols. I half expected to see Meatloaf appear on stage. You want Beethoven - dude, Beethoven never sounded so loud. Laser lights were synchronized with drum solos. There were sexy, slutty, sassy backup girls and some reject from the Coors playing violin. A young indie hipster like myself may expect to see the following retired formulaic ingredients at a TSO show:

  • The Gibson Flying V Guitar

  • Double Neck Guitar

  • Long "Rock God" Hair

  • "Air Guitar" enthusiastically played by audience members
  • The spirit of the 80's
Trans-Siberian Orchestra is a side project of the 80's band Savatage. Considerably more successful at playing other people's music than there own, they still get to tour (albeit 2 months of the year) and probably have earned a shit load of money for themselves. In case you're interested in re-discovering Savatage's earlier work here are some album covers.